Battle Scars
by Youkai-Amy
Summary: Alastrina Goodwind has battle scars. She is in a stuck with the constant cold feeling in her heart because of her families death- her village a group of dwarves who escaped Erebor from Smaug, was once attacked by orcs which she vows to kill. When Gandalf comes with 12 dwarves and hobbit asking for her to join the company, she has to fight her past and connects with a certain dwarf.
1. Uneasiness Comes With a Price

Sitting down on the cold ground wasn't so bad. I did it quite a lot, it was quite comforting when you could sit alone and not be bothered by others. In this little village were about seventy to eighty dwarves who had come from Erebor. Some who had been able to escape, unlike many unlucky few. We had once about one hundred and thirty to one hundred and forty dwarves here but they had all been killed by an orc raid on this village many year ago, my parents included…

My life had never been the same since those orcs killed my family… And all those other dwarves…

* * *

"_Taad!" a little dwarf girl with long brunette hair, slightly blondish red at the tips, yelled for her father in Khuzdul._

"_Atrina," her father said, using her nickname. Her father was sitting out front of her house sharpening his swords blade. _

_The young girl swung her little self around looking at her father's sword, her greyish blue eyes bulging at it, "Taad, do you think I'll ever be able to use a sword?" _

_Her father stopped sharpening his weapon, laying it down on the rock and wood table, picking his daughter up and sitting her on his lap. _

"_Well my young one, I believe if you would like when you are older I can teach you to use one… That is if you are implying you want to use one someday?" he asked, moving a strand of hair out of his daughters face. _

"_Oh of course Taad! But what would Maamr think…?" _

"_She will just have to deal with it then. If you so desire the acts of swords and weapons from the acts dwarvish women usually do, then so be it my dear. Do not let anyone tell you who you should be, follow your dreams. Be yourself to please yourself," her father smiled. _

"_But…" he added on before the young dwarfling could encounter, "Your mother likes swords and weaponry too, so she will not be too angry."_

"_I do not like doing things in the house, it is no fun… I would much rather be using weapons!" she jumped off her father's lap smiling up at him. _

"_Yes," he chuckled, "I have noticed."_

* * *

_The same day, late into the night, Alastrina was awoken by cries in the village and an orange red reflection in her room, covering the surfaces of her bed and floors, everything. _

_She stood up, looking out the window and saw burning houses and crying dwarfs on the sides of the dirt road. And then she saw orcs. Disgusting creatures in which no one liked whatsoever. To a little girl, they were terrifying._

_Running down the stairs to her parents for comfort, she tripped over her own two feet slightly as she raced herself down stairs, her parents not there. Racing to the front of her house, door wide open she saw her father not too far off with her mother in fighting gear, both fighting against the orcs. Her parents seeing her, ran to her.  
_

"_Go back inside Alastrina!" her mother cried. _

"_But maamr-" suddenly a pale orc came towards them. _

"_Alastrina!" her father yelled, "Run!" _

_But the young dwarf could not find a will to run. She was scared, the pale orc hideous, scared her and made her shake in her little stature, her father fought the orc off, or attempted to, with the help of her mother, but only to have his head cut clean off his body. _

"_Taad!" her cry echoed, rippling through her body as she watched the orc do the same to her mother, who before her head had been chopped off, told the little girl to flee. And so she did. _

_Running as fast as she could, she managed to make her way to the old blacksmiths and hid in between a group of barrels. Before she knew it her eyes drooped and she slept._

* * *

I shuddered at the awful memory. I remember I had awoken and been found by Armia, who took me in as her own child and let me travel about to improve my fighting skills, as I had wanted to protect her and the entire village of dwarves we had left, and I vowed revenge against the pale orc, Azog… The disgusting and crude _Ruhks._ After many years of travelling and training and meeting Gandalf the grey and being trained by a man named Alibus for years, I was finally home and intended to stay awhile to watch over the village. It was rumoured around that the orcs are not as calm as they had been, and are now attacking many places. So I best be on my guard.

Armia was now much older, nearing last of her years alive as a dwarf… She wasn't all too young when she had found me either, but she was like a mother to me. I guess a grandmother. The village had gained a few dwarves since I had been gone, gained because a few babies had been born, and I was happy to see the younglings that had been there when I had left were growing up nicely, still children, naïve and cute, but growing up as mature dwarves- for their age that is.

But being back had some downsides. Such as being constantly asked, "How are you, is something bothering you Alastrina?"

That's the thing; I have not smiled, nor laughed or cried since my parents' death. Not once. It was as if I had a hard shell around me, a barrier, blocking off everyone around me, not letting them too close to me. The only time I had smiled was around the little children. But other than that, not a true smile.

Armia scolded me a lot for bringing her down, and the rest of the village down when they saw me. Apparently I had a giant grey cloud brooding above my head.

And yet I was sitting here and I felt like something unexpected would be arriving soon.

What it was, I had no idea.

But I wanted to know…

_**A/N: Hello This is obviously a new story I have decided to make haha, or my first I guess considering I deleted the 13 other stories I had considering I hated them and well, I'm not into the fandoms any more haha. But this is obviously a Hobbit fanfiction… And I know some of the Khuzdul I used, like Taad Maamr and Ruhks may not be the right words, but I am no expert and I just looked these up. For me, Taad is father, Maamr is mother, and Ruhks is orc. Anywho, should I continue this story or no? I might… I actually like the ideas I have so far Anyway, review if you want, tell me if I should continue or not…**_


	2. An Unexpected and Unwanted Detour

Thorin Oakenshield's company of dwarves, and one hobbit that had just shown up, were stopped because of one wizard named Gandalf.

"We do not have the time to be stopping, Gandalf," Thorin's voice held the clear and obvious tone of annoyance, impatient lines etched carefully onto his facial features.

Gandalf the grey let out one of his low gruff noises that came from the throat, "There is somewhere we need to stop off before we go any further, Thorin Oakenshield."

You could hear the audible annoyance leaving more than half of the company's lips.

"And why did I not know about this till know, the day we leave?" Thorin seemingly shifted his weight as he jumped off the side of his pony.

"I somewhat feared you would not want to go," Gandalf exclaimed, the other dwarves taking this time to stretch their legs, although they were also irked with an annoyance. Though Bilbo did not want to take chances and get off his pony, fearing he would not be able to get back on for the rest of the day.

A scoff flew from Thorin's mouth, "Aye. You were right; I do not want to go. It will only waste our time; and we have no time to waste."

Gandalf raised an eyebrow, shifting his staff from one hand to another, leaning more on one leg than another. Dwarves were stubborn, yes he knew that. But stubborn as they were, he would not back down on bringing them to this village. He knew they needed her, Alastrina. For what, he knew not yet, but he knew, in the back of his head he felt as though she needed to come.

"Believe me Thorin, it will be no waste. The person who we are visiting is not going to waste our time… I believe they will be of certain and great help on this journey…" Gandalf said sternly, "Now, if we do not get on our way, we **will** be wasting time, it will take us at the least 3 days of riding to get there, 5 days at most. The sooner the better."

"On our journey?" Thorin's face etched realization, "this person is coming with us?"

Gandalf waved off Thorin's words, "Come, and follow me."

Whoever this person was, Thorin was not feeling his best about this…

* * *

"Alastrina," Armia's voice echoed throughout her small house- I could not consider it ours, for she was not my mother, not even related to me. I really belonged nowhere in this village.

Placing my bow over my shoulder and making sure my swords were on my belt properly, I made my way downstairs to where she was outside, the door open from where she had yelled inside.

"Yes?" I said not looking up from my hilt on one of the swords I had.

Armia coughed a bit, causing me to look up. She had been sick for quite a while, happened a few years after I had left.

"Are you alright?" I asked before she could say anything else.

She chuckled softly, "Quite fine Alastrina, you worry too much my dear… It's a painful reminder I am an old women when you ask such questions with such worry." I could hear the amusement in her voice that was covered with an oncoming cough.

I shifted on my legs, I was used to the weight of my weapons and clothing, but when you put them all on at once it bothers me for a few minutes once putting them on. That is why I usually don't put them all on so fast.

"I'm glad you find humour in sickness," my voice may have sounded a bit colder than I intended for it to.

The fine lines of Armia's face forced into a frown, as a bit of her pure white hair blew up a bit at the wind, "You need to learn to have a sense of humour, or use the one you've got. You need to smile and laugh, have a little expression."

"Why does it even matter?" I muttered.

"It matters because I'm sure it cannot be all too healthy for anyone's mind if they do not and cannot be happy and smile, I can barely even tell when you are upset or angry! Maybe if you showed a bit of emotion, a dwarf would attempt to court you…" Armia trailed off.

"I do not wish to be courted, not right now. And for your information I have had attempts by dwarven men courting me, but I just never accepted them… I don't think I have time right now to be courted," again, she was talking about courting.

"You think there is never a time to be courted, are you just afraid that what happened to your parents will happen to you? Are you afraid one of you will die and leave the other sad… Or are you afraid both you will die?" Armia said.

I think she knew she was walking on thin ice, but didn't care.

"This conversation is over," I said, turning quickly on my heel to walk down the dirt path leading into the main parts of the village. Armia's house was one of the first you see when you enter our small village.

I knew deep down, she was right. I should be smiling and laughing like everyone else, but I don't think I can anymore. It is like I was hardened by my parent's death and the orc attack on the village, hardened by my vows to destroy the pale orc. If I do smile, it has never felt real, so my policy is kind of, why give a smile if it is not going to be real. Unless I am around children, then it doesn't count.

The only reason I truly came back to the village was because I was worried that it may be attacked again, and the village has a few dwarves who are warriors but most are either becoming quite old, or they are women, and apparently women, any race really, are supposed to be at home most times. It is especially in dwarven culture because we are so rare, we are like treasures apparently. We were considered treasures among dwarf kind because again, we are so rare. We are usually hidden, which has caused many races, aside from dwarves, to believe the dwarves do not have women in the society. Of course we do how would there be dwarves if we did not? They say some believe that dwarves were born from stone… This is completely stupid… Sometimes we are mistaken for men when we are seen but that is because of our beards, and some of us have rather deep voiced. I am lucky in my own opinion to have side burns, which I so carefully have braided into my hair, though they are not long side burns, sometimes not noticeable with all my on my head, and my voice is rather womanly. My village consists of maybe 5 dwarf women in total, and 2 dwarven girl twins, young ones.

I am told a lot to be careful because I am a woman… But I have never listened.

I was by a cliff now, at the very ends of the village and I sat, feet hanging over the edge, I took off my swords and arrows and bow placing them beside me, relieved to have such a weight off my back. Only Mahal knows why I haven't injured myself with my weapons yet. Dual blades, one long sword, a dagger, bows and arrows… And yet I haven't hurt myself carrying them.

The wind picked up, making my long hair blow into my face. Looking at it, it looked different from when I was young… When I was young it was brown then the tips were a blondish red, now that I was older, it was brown but the tips were a darker brown, kind of black, but still brown. It's weird; my hair was like my maamrs now it's like my taads…

I cocked my head to the forests; I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach still that something would happen… Like something was coming.

* * *

"How much longer till we reach that village you were talking about Gandalf?" Bilbo finally managed to muster up the courage to ask, still feeling out of place with the dwarves.

Gandalf seemed to be not listening till he cleared his throat, "Today, soon I presume… We have travelled two days and it seems we were closer than I thought we were."

Thorin was not keen on this village, nor was more than half the company, agreeing they were wasting their time. Though, it seemed Gandalf had convinced him to go to the village, constantly telling him it was no waste, but really, they would only know for sure if they had wasted their time when they got there.

"Gandalf, you better have a good reason for bringing us here…" Thorin growled.

"I said it was for good reason, and if I say it is, than it is…." Gandalf encountered, "Ah look, we are just about there…"

Gandalf shoved his staff forward referring to the opening of a quaint little village. From where the dwarves were, they could see the some houses at the opening, and more running along further down, some little children, not yet could you tell if they were dwarves, playing along the road, and a few ponies roaming around.

Bilbo straightened his back, already liking the look of the village. He sure had missed his hobbit hole enough, even if it had been two and a half days since his departure, land and a village would surely be nice… And if they decided to- hopefully for Bilbo- stay overnight in the village, Bilbo would not be sleeping on the hard grounds again, although he knew he needed to get used to it for being on this journey… That is, if they have an inn.

"Seems like a nice village," Bilbo murmured, not realizing he could be heard well enough.

Gandalf's chuckle indicated to the hobbit, he was indeed heard; by all company considering Gandalf was in the front and Bilbo in the back, "Indeed it is my dear hobbit. Very nice people- or dwarves I should say."

The very word of dwarves caught the attention of all the dwarves at once, who had only been mildly interested in Gandalf's words.

"Dwarves?" Dwalin mumbled, his thick voice making the word fall off his tongue in a manner that sounded gruff and scary, to others that is, "The village is a dwarven village?"

"Indeed it is, master dwarf," Gandalf smoked his pipe, which he had just so carefully lightened, "Dwarves who survived the attack of Smaug I believe. Left Erebor and Dale all together they did, and made peace here, making the village themselves."

This sparked all the interests of the dwarves, even the coldest of them, Thorin.

"Have they got dwarf women?" Bofur asked, being humorous, yet seriousness was also there.

Gandalf smirked, as some of the other dwarves found the humour, certainly the young heirs of Durin did, "Why yes… Few, but yes."

The talking ceased after that, and the entire company was less tense about the village, knowing it was of people from Erebor.

* * *

I picked up my dual blades and took them out of their sheaths, examining the blade. We had an amazing blacksmith in the village, he made the dual blades, the sword was my taads, but he upgraded it, the bows and arrows were my maamrs but he also upgraded those. He was quite amazing, but he was also quite old, about 230. He was nearing the end of the dwarf life expectancy, about 250, but I believe his son is going to take over after him, though it will be sad when he passes.

Far over the distances I could see the clouds begin to pass in.

Rain…

Sighing, I stood up. I should probably go tell the others, particularly the children, to get inside because it looked like it would be a down pour, heavy rain and tons of it.

* * *

As Gandalf entered the village with the dwarves close behind, they got off their ponies and tied them up to be sure they would not run off. The first thing that the dwarves noticed was the few little dwarven kids playing. Six were little boys, two were little girls. The two girls were taking turns braiding each other's hair, the boys playing with fake swords.

"Are these dwarf children?" Bilbo asked, no one in particular.

"Aye Laddie," Bofur smiled, "Haven't seen a dwarf child in a while, especially rare there are girls."

"Quite right," Dori said.

Gandalf led them towards a house at the beginning of the village and outside was an older dwarf women.

"Ah if it isn't Gandalf the grey!" the dwarven women smiled, sitting still in front of the house.

"Armia," Gandalf smiled warmly, both ignoring the confused looks from the company, "very nice to see you again… How are you fairing these days?"

A small laugh escaped the women's lips, covered with a cough, "My old age is catching up to me it seems, but other than that, I am well. And how are you?"

"Very well thank you."

Armia moved in her seat to make herself more comfortable it seemed, "If you don't mind me asking, what brings you here at a time like this?"

Gandalf cleared his throat before moving a bit to one side, "As you may have heard, these dwarves are planning to take back Erebor."

Armia spotted the dwarves and a look of shock plastered her face, but then replaced with a warming smile, "King under the mountain, Thorin Oakenshield… Yes I have heard of this, didn't know if it was true or not. It is a pleasure to meet you." Armia bowed her head slightly.

Thorin only nodded.

"Well, I was wondering if Alastrina was home, or is she out and travelling again?" Gandalf's words held amusement.

Armia's moved awkwardly in her seat, "Ah…" she paused, "Yes she is back, been back for a few months now, but she isn't here right now. We had a little argument, she is probably on the cliffs sitting around, you know how she usually is."

"Sadly, I do know how she is. Thank you Armia, take care of yourself," Gandalf said gruffly, beginning to lead the dwarves off through the village.

"One more thing!" Armia said, stopping the dwarves in their tracks, "I wish you good luck on your journey to reclaim Erebor. I am sure that everyone here will be over joyed to go back home…"

The dwarves looked at her, "Thank you…" Thorin said, no emotion lacing his words exactly. The other dwarves just seemingly nodded at her, before following Gandalf.

"The dwarves here are nice," Bilbo smiled, feeling welcomed by the dwarves who smiled at the company and some bowed.

"Indeed my dear Bilbo, as I said they would be. Now all we need to do is find Alastrina…" Gandalf muttered.

"Who is Alastrina?" Bilbo asked, the dwarves echoing their curiosity along with Bilbo.

Thorin looked rather annoyed before agreeing, "Yes, Gandalf, Who is this Alastrina. So far I have deemed this detour time consuming and wasteful… Maybe we shouldn't have listened to you."

"You will soon see who this Alastrina is…"

_**A/N: Okay so yes, another chapter woo hoo XD But I changed my mind on one thing, I don't know if this will be a ThorinxOC. I need help deciding, should it be ThorinxOC or FilixOC, I won't do Kili because I have a fan fiction on him already (I posted it on Quotev, if you want tell me in the reviews if you want it posted here, also, tell me, ThorinxOC or FilixOC I'll make a new chapter when it's decided, I need your opinions though But I guess this is a relatively long chapter yes? But no action really yet…**_


	3. The King and His Company

_**A/N: So I kind of decided on my own (With two reviews haha) that I would do ThorinxOC, because like the reviewer, lostfeather1, said, Thorin deserves more love, and he is also my favorite dwarf (Along with Fili and Bofur haha) (Also he is pretty hot XD AND I intended for it to be ThorinxOC when the story bloomed into my head) But also, thank you for the review… And Hannah said it should also be ThorinxOC. **_

_**(But I did indeed think of doing a BofurxOC or DwalinxOC, thanks to ro781727, I almost did… But I think I'll do a BofurxOC and DwalinxOC friendship thing…) Now I shall continue to write my chapter's haha… Enjoy **_

Of course, while I was walking back to the village, I would feel the first raindrop fall onto my nose. Looking back over my shoulder, I could see the rain clouds were closer than before, and I think I had just enough time to get to the village and get the kids inside.

Slinking my top half of my body back a little so I didn't trip while walking down the slant of the hill, deemed itself to be somewhat challenging with my weapons, making my feet skid a bit at the bottom of the hill, almost falling flat on my face.

"Lucky save…" I muttered to myself.

Re-entering the village, I saw the little kids still outside, I walked towards them.

"Aye, you might want to go inside kids," I said, startling them.

The two twins stood up, Alisia and Lisia, "Alastrina! Why do we need to go inside?"

I used my policy of only using a fake smile around the kids, although I was trying to make it real, "Well it's about to start raining. A downpour really, you girls should go inside and help your maamr prepare dinner, yes?"

"Aw… Can't we play in the rain?" both girls simultaneously sighed.

"Ya, the rain isn't that bad," one of the boys said.

Shifting slightly, my weapons clanked at the movements, "Well… It won't be so fun when you guys are all terribly sick, and I'm telling you, you won't even be able to go outside when it's nice if that happens!"

At my words, the kids jumped up and began to run back to their homes. It almost made me laugh, but I couldn't find my laugh. I can't even remember what my laugh sounds like really, which is not a good thing. Straightening my back, I stretched for a long moment before I heard someone clear their throat behind me.

I whipped myself around, feeling on guard, but probably for no reason. My hand reached for my dagger, but dropped when I saw who it was.

"Gandalf!" I swore in Khuzdul under my breathe, "You scared the living daylights out of me…"

Gandalf chuckled, as I tried to regain some composure over myself, hand over my heart.

"Alastrina, we were about to come to the cliffs to look for you my dear! Armia said you'd be there," Gandalf smiled.

"Of course she did…" I growled under my breathe, "Wait- what do you mean we?"

Gandalf moved over slightly to reveal a group of dwarves, who weren't from the village obviously, they hadn't been here before.

"This is Thorin Oakenshield and his company of dwarves…" Gandalf said slowly before looking at me, "If you hadn't heard, they are planning to take back Erebor…"

I scoffed, "A quest to get yer selves killed…"

I hid my shock easily at Thorin Oakenshield and his company standing right before me. Everyone knew who he was, especially the dwarves of Erebor and the people of Dale. It wasn't hard to know who he was, Thorin King under the Mountain, not technically a King though, he hasn't had a coronation to deem him King. Yet he is considered the King still, he is the Heir to the throne, with his nephews the younger heirs of Durin, the eldest taking over after Thorin steps down or dies- if they get their mountain back alive.

The dwarves began to protest against my words till Gandalf spoke, "Alastrina. We were wondering if you would accompany this company on their journey to reclaim Erebor. I am sure you miss your home and you want to take it back also for your parents and this village."

"No. I will not," I said with no hesitation in my voice whatsoever, sure my face looked as cold as stone and no emotion etched onto it.

Thorin scoffed, "Good choice. We cannot have a woman on this quest."

I glared; a new fire arose in my chest, "And why not?"

"A women on a quest to kill a dragon?" Thorin growled, it wasn't like he was questioning me, but saying, you really think this would happen?

"I have to agree with Thorin, Lass," a dwarf with all white hair came forward beside Thorin, his beard was long and also as white as his head hair, white as snow.

I plastered a look of nothing on my face, blocking my emotions out before looking at Gandalf, "I take it you dragged them here without the intention of telling them why?"

Gandalf coughed a bit on his pipe, which told me I had it right on the mark.

"I take it I am right then…" I trailed off.

It was silent for a few moments till I broke it, "I may not be going with you, because one, you all think a dwarven women shouldn't be going on such a quest, let me guess, it's because we are treasures and you can't risk the quest for a dwarf women?" I turned away from the group, "but even so, maybe you should all rest here over night… When you have the chance to sleep on a real bed, you should take it, especially on such a long quest."

I heard a sigh of relief from the group, from my offer most likely, and I noticed a little hobbit. A hobbit, I hadn't seen a hobbit in years, when I first went out from the village to train I came across the Shire and I stayed there for about a month before continuing my travels. The Shire is a rather quiet place, aside from the little kids who were enthusiastic.

I smirked, even if it was the smallest smirk, "And I am sure your hobbit would much rather sleep in a bed again… No matter how long you've all been on this journey."

The hobbit seemingly shrunk away and a red color dusted his cheeks. It almost made me laugh, but the laugh got stuck in my throat.

"We are wasting our time," Thorin interjected, turning to Gandalf, "You have wasted precious time wizard, and all for nothing."

Gandalf ignored him and turned to me, "Alastrina, if you wouldn't mind, can we all talk in a more private area. And it does look as if it may rain any minute."

"Of course," I sighed, "We can go back to Armia's home…"

Walking in front of the dwarves and Gandalf we walked back to Armia's home at the opening on the village. Just when the rain started to fall, we had made it.

"I guess we're lucky…" I murmured as the rain began to soak my clothes and hair.

I pushed open the door to Armia's home and it was already starting to darken, of course, the clouds were dark grey, and there were no candles or anything lit in the house. Armia obviously left somewhere.

"Gandalf, Armia was here when you came right?" I sounded demanding, sounded worried. Even if I was angry at her, and even if there was nothing wrong, I'm always worried that something will happen to those I am close to like my parents. I try not to become close with people; I don't want to feel pain like that again if something were to happen to people. That's why I am dreading the day when Armia passes on.

Noticing my unease, Gandalf put a hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry Alastrina. I saw her leave off to one off to Vianala's home, she's fine."

My shoulders visibly dropped in relief. Vianala was one of the dwarf ladies in the village; she was around Armia's age.

"Aye… Anyway, she won't mind you all, come into her home for now…" I managed to say as I lit the fireplace which illuminated the entire room.

I noticed the dwarves unease before soon they untensed their muscles. The hobbit though, was just happy to be by a fire, never seemed to be tense about this.

Beginning to take off my weapons, I clanked them all on one another onto the kitchen table, taking off my soaking wet surcoat and placing it near the fire to dry. Cracking my knuckles I looked at the dwarves who still had all their wet armour and surcoats on, their weapons heavily dragged on their backs.

"You know," I began, "No one in this village will hurt you. Mahal! They all must love you, you can take off your armour and surcoats and cloaks to dry. And your weapons are obviously heavy. We won't hurt you. Most of us were born and raised in Erebor, give or take a few. The kids I mean."

They all looked at me skeptically before they removed their things. Placing their weapons in a pile and their surcoats and cloaks near the fire like mine.

"Now… Gandalf, is there something you wanted to talk about in private, I can only guess there is when you said talk in private," I mused as the dwarves slowly, but surly, became more comfortable in Armia's home, sitting on the ground and on the couches.

Gandalf looked like he was pondering it, but I knew he wasn't, "Yes… Indeed there is, would you mind bringing us somewhere away from the dwarves."

"Sure," walking up the stairs to the second floor of Armia's house, we were away from the dwarves. Some who were complaining about the hold up in their journey, particularly the elder ones, the others enjoying the fire to their best of its use.

Leaning on the wall I looked at Gandalf waiting for him to start talking. In that time I noticed his hair had greyed quite a bit since the last time I'd seen him, may it be old age or stressful situations, I hadn't a clue. His beard had grown and greyed quite a bit also. Thankfully I brought a candle with us up the stairs, or we'd be talking in the dark.

"Alastrina, I am worried for you," Gandalf simply stated, no hesitations, straight to the point.

My eyebrow rose, "You sound like Armia… Why are you two so worried?"

"Ever since I have met you years ago, you have barely ever smiled, shown little emotion. And from what I have heard from Armia, you haven't smiled since your parents died so long ago," Gandalf said sternly.

A groan escaped my lips, "And what of it?"

"Obviously it cannot be healthy. I know you must be suffering on the inside, and suffering for so long has left you with a shell as hard as stone."

"Is there a reason you have brought this up so suddenly?" I was beginning to feel irked.

"I came here with these dwarves to ask you to come on this journey with them. I believe that this journey will be good for you. Also, I have a strange and yet strong feeling that you should come on this journey," Gandalf concluded.

Looking at him with a tense stare, I thought for a moment. Yes, I was close to a completely emotionless short statured dwarf. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't smile or be happy ever. And I do not know how this journey can help me, but getting out of this village which is filled with depressing memories of the pale orc, would probably be good.

And maybe I can destroy the pale orc if he's still out there…

"…I guess I can go…" I stated, Gandalf's face visibly brightened, "But… I am sure that more than half of that company is against a girl, especially a dwarf girl, going on that journey with them."

"It will take convincing, but you need to go."

_**A/N: Sorry for the shorty chapter. How was that? And it's extremely hard to get Thorin's personality right… How bad am I doing or how good? Haha… Anywho, Updates will be later on weekdays because of school, so sorry Thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews. Love you 3**_


	4. Night Terrors, Nightmares

_**A/N: Ah thank you for the favorites and follows again you guys and special thank you to lostfeather1 for that review, it's good to know I'm not too terrible at Thorin's personality haha. I'll try to make this longer for you guys And just saying, I did indeed change my username from Youkai-Amy to Alastrina-Goodwind, that is my OC for Thorin, I have one for Fili and Kili too haha… It may change again, but whatever How is it? And enjoy this chapter **_

After talking with Gandalf, I retreated down the stairs again towards the company of dwarves in Armia's home. Hopefully she would be staying at Vianala's, or she'd have a heart attack for sure at the amount of dwarves in her home… Though she wouldn't mind, I guess she is just that type of person.

I didn't want to disrupt the dwarves, but I felt kind of envious looking at them. They were all extremely jolly, and me being a dwarf should be able to act that way too naturally, but that side of me has been gone for far too long. Gone since my parent's death. The way they all smiled and laughed, even though their journey was being delayed a day or two for now. The hobbit looked somewhat uncomfortable around the dwarves, which is understandable, coming from the Shire and all. I may be wrong, but I'm sure the hobbits like their peace and quiet…

I made my way to one of the windows in Armia's house and pulled back the curtain, seeing the rain was just getting harder. It became clear that the dwarves weren't going to be able to leave any time soon, unless they wanted to be riddled with sickness or drenched from head to toe.

Also, I needed time to think of how I can convince the company to let me on their journey. And I expect Gandalf will help me out with that- Considering it's his idea I go. I hated to be the one to say the rain didn't look like it wasn't going to let up for a couple of days- so I just wouldn't say anything- unless I absolutely had to.

Armia might just stay at Vianala's house for the time being, till the dwarves are gone… And possibly me.

I could either just stalk along with the dwarves, not letting them tell me to stay behind, or I could reason with them, and convince them of my coming. But I don't want to make enemies as it is. If there is something people didn't know about dwarves is that they are hard to befriend- it is as if we have a shell around us and we don't trust easily, unless you are somehow related to us, then it's easier for us to trust you. But the best part of befriending a dwarf and gaining their trust is that you are treated like family from there on out, they are trustworthy friends- or at least some.

Sighing, I turned from the window and decided against myself to associate myself with the dwarves.

Standing near them all, some standing, others sitting by the fire, either on the floor or on with chairs they had pulled up from the kitchen, or just a chair that had been lying around, I spoke.

"Seeing as you are all staying here for the night- I assume? I think I should be at least able to know your names," I finished, crossing my arms over my chest.

The dwarves were quite, still a bit hesitant but one decided to talk finally, "Aye lass. The name's Bofur, pleasure to meet ya."

The dwarf had a hat on, a very interesting one that looked slightly funny, but he could pull it off somehow. He had two braids on either side of his head, and a very warming smile, not cold or unwelcoming, warm.

I nodded my head, and tilted it forward a little bit, as if I was bowing, "Pleasure to meet you as well Bofur…"

Gandalf just so happened to walk over towards us, coughing he spoke up, "Yes… It would be nice if we introduced our selves, wouldn't it? Why don't I name them, it'll take quite a while if they do it themselves."

I nodded watching as Gandalf cleared his throat and pointed to one group of dwarves, "This is Ori, Dori Nori." The three dwarves bowed, I bowed a bit back.

"Bifur, Bombur, and as you know, Bofur," I smiled a bit at Bofur, and bowed at the other dwarves.

"Oin and Gloin," Gandalf continued.

"Balin," Balin, the dwarf with the pure white beard and hair smiled at me warmly, kind of like Bofur had, but it was like he gave a more sympathetic smile. Maybe for how the dwarves were acting towards me.

"Dwalin… Balin's brother…" Dwalin said, gruffly, and coldly. Obviously not taking much off a liking to me…

"And the heirs of Durin-" Gandalf began, but two dwarves, one with Blond hair, the other brown, both looking young, the brown haired one somewhat cheeky, butted in.

"Fili," the blonde said, smiling.

"And Kili-" the brown haired one smiled as well, the biggest smile I'd seen from someone who was not one of the kids in the village.

"At your service," they both said.

Nodding my head, I bowed at the two heirs of Durin.

"And finally, Thorin Oakenshield. The leader of this company…" Gandalf said, pointing towards Thorin, who I hadn't even seen come closer to us all.

"Aye, don't forgot our hobbit," Bofur said.

"Ah yes, Bilbo Baggins…" Gandalf chuckled, Bilbo standing up.

I walked towards him and gave him a warm smile, he looked nervous and uneasy around the dwarves still, and I just wanted him to feel comfortable. He has been the only one who hasn't been completely cold or uneasy towards me since the moment he saw me.

"Nice to meet you Mister Baggins," I reached my hand out, and he took it, shaking it along with me.

Releasing his hand I straightened my back, taking in a sharp breath I began, "Well, I guess I should introduce myself hm?"

Clearing my throat I began, "My name is Alastrina Goodwind. I've lived in this village since I was around 8 (In human years)"

It was quite for a moment before a dwarf, I think it was Balin spoke up, "Is it true lass that your village is of dwarves from Erebor?"

"Yes… Most of the dwarves here are older, having grown up in Erebor and all…" I trailed off; I can only remember little snippets of living in Erebor, being around 8 in human years when Smaug attack. I sure as hell remember him… I shuttered a bit thinking about it, my parents had loved the mountains, having grown up there themselves.

"How long have you lived here miss Goodwind?" Ori I think it was piped up, looking shy and nervous.

I pondered the question for a moment, thinking if I should tell them or not. I'd always been uneasy about telling anyone, no matter whom, about my past, even if it's something as small as how long I'd been living in this village… But I guess it wouldn't hurt to say it.

"I was about 23 when Smaug attacked, only a wee lass of a dwarf… So I've been here since I was 23…" I murmured, looking towards the fire.

"How old are ye now?" Bofur continued on the conversation, the dwarves seemed to be listening.

Rocking a bit back on my heel I placed a hand on my chin and looked as if I was deep in thought, when in reality I was not, "I'm about… 143…"

"Aye, you're one of the eldest out of all of us, but still young for dwarf women. So you lived in the mountains till you were about 23?" Bofur continued.

"Aye. At least I think it was 23… It's been many a years since then, so I guess at some point you lose count when you feel it does not matter anymore… In human years, I was about 8," I kneeled by the fire, taking a fire stick and poking it, causing it to crackle a bit.

Before I could be asked anything any further, to where they would get into very personal things such as my parents and the orcs who had killed them, I stood up straight and cleared my throat, letting a higher pitched yawn escape my lips as I stretched up on my tippy toes and arched my back backwards, stretching my arms above my head.

"You all should get some sleep. I know I will- be trying to at least-"I whispered the last part, not expecting anyone to really hear me.

The dwarves had decided to settle on the floors, where I brought some of Armia's blankets and extra pillows for them to use. I noticed the hobbit was not pleased, disappointed really. I felt a bit bad for him, not wanting to sleep on the floor, I walked over to him.

"Bilbo, was it?" I asked, to be sure I was not messing his name up, he nodded gingerly, "You can have my bed if you'd like. I can take Armia's, she seems to be staying at her friends."

The hobbit's eyes widened as he frantically began to speak, "No no! It's quite alright… I don't want to be rude; we are your guests after all… I wouldn't want to intrude or anything…"

This hobbit had nice manners, which was nice, but I knew he wanted a bed.

"No really, I insist. I know you must miss your hobbit hole. I know how most hobbit's are, I lived in the Shire for a month or two before leaving to continue travelling, I would go back sometimes for a visit…" I said, entranced by the memories that were actually good for once.

"You stayed in the Shire before?" Bilbo paused, "You must travel a lot, being a dwarf and coming to the Shire."

"Indeed I do. I travelled a lot until a few months back, 2 or 3 maybe, when I decided to come back to this village… I've been many places," I continued, not noticing the dwarves were listening to me talking to Bilbo.

"If you don't mind, before I leave off again with these dwarves, would you share some of your adventures with me?" Bilbo asked, seeming hopeful, but it seemed like he was trying to hide. Not even doing a good job really.

Looking upwards, I made it look like I was debating if I would tell him. But I knew I would- it wouldn't hurt, I've never had anyone to tell of my adventures, I never told Armia because she would freak out- panic about my safety.

"Sure. Tomorrow maybe, but really, you can have my bed, I'll bring you to it," I said about to turn and lead Bilbo when a thick voice stopped me.

"And who said we'd be staying tomorrow?" it was Thorin.

I turned around swiftly looking at Thorin, "Master Oakenshield," I began, with no hint of sarcasm, my voice probably sounded emotionless, "Because of the rain, I don't think you'll be leaving in the morning- not for a day more at least…"

Thorin raised his eyebrow, "And what makes you think we won't be travelling in this rain?"

"Well, I bet you will be travelling in the rain. But it won't be as bad when you do- Do you want to risk the health of your company?" I questioned.

Thorin seemed to mutter something to himself under his breathe, and I just let the conversation go at that point, "C'mon Bilbo…"

I picked up a candle from off the table and walked myself and Bilbo upstairs and down the hall, to one of the furthest rooms down. Opening the door, I placed the candle in first and saw the candle I usually left in my room, lighting it up with the candle I took with me, it illuminated the room. I actually couldn't really consider it my room- I found it hard doing that considering it was Armia's house. I liked to think this was the room I used whenever I came, as if I was a guest and this was the guest room. But still, even thinking that, I kept my clothes, weapons, and personal items in here. Even when Armia corrected me, saying it was "My room," I would fight the urge to tell her no it wasn't I didn't even belong in her home; it can't be my own room.

"This is… my room," I said, not wanting to sound weird saying guest room, only because the dwarves and Bilbo knew I lived here most of the time now.

"Your room is very nice, it has a comforting atmosphere," Bilbo smiled. I only wished I could smile that way.

I leaned back onto the wall, "Yup. I like to keep it welcoming."

Bilbo scanned the room with his eyes and they fell upon something, a drawing on my bedside dresser.

Bilbo looked at it carefully, picking it up, "Who's this?"

I looked over his shoulder and noticed it was the drawing of my parents someone had made for me quite some time ago… I felt a pang in my heart.

"Oh… That's my mother and father…" I murmured, looking away from the painting.

Shutting my mouth before I could let this conversation go on, I pushed my body off of the wall and looked at Bilbo, "Welp, I'll leave you then. Get a good rest, and don't feel bad about using my bed. Remember, I insisted."

Bilbo looked at me for a moment before smiling, "…Thank you Alastrina… Good night."

I nodded, walking out the room and closing the door silently behind me. I sighed and walked towards the beginning of the hall, a door away before the stairs was Armia's room. Before I went inside I peeked down the stairs and saw all the dwarves, they were all laying down trying to sleep- some maybe already asleep, snores emitted from a few, which showed me I was right. The only person I noticed was not asleep or attempting to sleep was Thorin. He was standing by the dully lit fire. I took in his features as well as I could from where I was at the top of the stairs. Not wanting to get noticed, I quickly turned away and walked into Armia's room.

Taking my tunic off, I was left in a black undershirt and my suede dark brown leggings/pants. Retreating into Armia's bed, it had an overwhelming but pleasant aroma of her. Hoping to Mahal I would be able to sleep through the night, I closed my eyes and let the darkness seep in.

_A pale orc, named Azog was standing with a weapon in his hands. A little girl, maybe 8, stood looking at him. Her eyes were filled with tears. They streamed down her face._

_In his disgusting pale hands, a head. No, two heads._

_Her parents heads. Her parents. _

_He killed her parents, and chopped their heads off, like he wanted to torture the poor child._

"_Maamr… Taad…"_

_The pale orc laughed a disgusting putrid laugh, "You will be next…"_

"_You will… Be next…_

I shot up in Armia's bed and felt the cold sweat stick my clothing to my body, it trickling down my back and making me feel gross. Night terrors, or nightmares. I hated them… I usually had them every so often; I can't remember what it's like to sleep without being awoken by one, or what it's like to sleep peacefully.

That one was one of the reoccurring ones, not the worst I've had, but still bad. That never actually happened, but I dreamed it did.

Sighing, I pushed the covers off my body and felt exhausted. Knowing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, it would be pointless if I tried to sleep. I should've expected this. Quickly, I grabbed my tunic and pulled it on over my under top and looked outside from Armia's window. Still dark out, pitch black, and still raining, harder than before.

Opening Armia's door, I stepped out, closing it silently behind me. I didn't want to wake the dwarves, Bilbo, and Gandalf- if he was still here.

The stairs creaked a bit louder than they usually would- actually they barely creak. Maybe they were just trying to wake everyone up. I scrunched my feet up and my body tensed as I continued down them, hoping to Mahal that would stop the noise, or cease it at least.

When the dwarves reached my vision, I noticed they were all sleeping- I didn't take notice to who was who, and who was where, and even if they were all there. The fire had no longer been lit, so it was pitch black- not including the moons light- which was a misty light because of the rain.

I tiptoed past them, walking carefully so I didn't make any noise and walked into the kitchen. I grabbed some water and drank it all in one gulp. I felt uneasy and jumpy- and just awful. I leaned myself back onto the wooden table and placed my hands on other side of me, griping the table lightly, tightening my grip whenever I thought about my parents. Suddenly, I heard footsteps and my head shot up, only to see Gandalf.

"Alastrina, I thought you had been sleeping?" was all he said as I pushed myself off the counter and folded my arms across my chest.

"I was… But I woke up," I muttered.

"What happened?"

"Nothing really- I just had a night terror. It's no big deal," I tried to brush it off- just to get out of this conversation.

Gandalf stared at me with unconvincing eyes, before lighting up his pipe, "You should go back to sleep then."

I straightened my back, trying to act convincing, "I don't want to…"

"Why not?"

I started to feel the irritation set in. This wizard… He never lets anything get past him- just like always.

Just wanting to be left alone, I sighed in frustration, "I just don't okay? I won't be able to sleep even if I tried."

"What was it about?" Gandalf said, no hesitation. When people asked about my parents- knowing they were dead- they usually used cautious words, as if they were walking on eggshells. Gandalf was the only one who just asked about it. And I appreciated that, I was sick of some treating me like a fragile little doll...

"Nothing… I'm going back to bed, goodnight Gandalf," I said coldly and stormed back up the stairs, not caring if I did wake the dwarves this time, but I don't think I did.

I had never told a soul of my night terrors, my nightmares.

Pulling Armia's door open, I walked in and closed the door quickly behind me. The whole room was dark still and I heard thunder clap outside. I walked over to Armia's bed and sat down on the edge, resting my forehead in the palms of my hands.

Right now, I would just think about how I would get onto that journey of Thorin Oakenshields, just to distract myself for the night…

_**A/N: Sorry for the late update : I'm sorry, really. I've been busy with school and tests and you might have to wait another few days to a week for another chapter because of tests I have next week. Anywho, how was this chapter? It's not very interesting so far, I don't know how I should start the relationship formation between Alastrina and Thorin, I don't want it to be a quick sudden thing, I want it to be a steady slow forming bond, but It can't be really long… Next chapter I might do something with them, nothing big really, just a small thing. And also, I always right in some ones P.O.V. Which is usually Alastrina, but next chapter, for a test, should I write in 3**__**rd**__** person? Because I don't know how I feel about P.O.V. writing this story, maybe 3**__**rd**__** person would be better? Tell me in the reviews or PM me, one last thing, Night Terrors is another way of saying nightmare, should I stick with Night Terrors or use Nightmares? Anyway, hope you enjoyed :D **_


	5. Bonfire Tales, Welcome to the Company

_**A/N didn't really get anyone answering my questions last chapter so I decided to just test this chapter for 3**__**rd**__** person P.O.V. and see how that flows, and if you guys like that or not. Anywho, enjoy, and thank you so much for reading 3**_

The rain was started to let up somewhat. Much better than the previous night, yet it was still not good… Alastrina hadn't fallen asleep again, and even if she had tried hard to, it wouldn't work. The pittering and pattering of the rain on the roof and windows was a steady beat of a noise in Alastrina's ears as she made Armia's bed gingerly. Even through the sound of pounding rain and claps of thunder like boulders to the ground, she could hear the dwarves she had invited to stay till the rain let up, downstairs.

Her only dilemma, getting herself on these dwarves journey to take back Erebor. It hadn't left her mind, how would she convince them? In the beginning, it never seemed like a good idea, but Gandalf was quite persistent. Not to mention, Alastrina felt more caged in than ever in the village. It only brought her sadness and pain, sad memories and pain she did not want to revisit every other day. Even if she wanted to protect the dwarves in the village, she'd rather be exploring again, it was as if it were her only distraction from everything around her. Though, she was particularly good at not showing her emotions and not letting them control her, if that had not been already established. It might not have been established though, that she did not want to show weakness but emotion.

Pulling her deep navy blue surcoat on over her dark brown tunic, which was made for fighting- the fabric was thick and padded well. The black belt to her surcoat fastened nicely in place and completed her outfit. Her suede dark brown pants and her dwarven made boots, dwarf boots being thick and well-padded too because of the dwarf built. Her boots had metal clasps- three to be exact- that started from the top, to the middle of her leg, right down to the ankle was where the last one was placed, also fur was in between the clasps. The boot started a little below her knees. They were heavy, so it made noise when she stepped on the wooden floors.

Walking out Armia's room, the sound of the dwarves laughing and talking became more apparent. Last night they hadn't been too keen on spending the night there. They probably still weren't keen on it… More Thorin than the others though.

Thorin was the least bit happy on being in this house. He couldn't exactly feel like Alastrina or the other dwarves of the village were going to hurt the company and himself- because they were dwarves from Erebor and treated them with the upmost respect and were as kind as they could be. Alastrina on the other hand, she made no effort to show as much respect, she acted normally around him.

Alastrina made her way down the stairs, her boots making the upmost noise as they clanked onto the wooden boards. The iron on the bottom sole made them louder. The first thing that caught her pale eyes was that her weapons were placed ever so carefully on the floor near the door, in a bundle. They looked like someone had taken carefully to picking them up and placing them down.

_It was probably Gandalf…_ Alastrina thought to herself.

Walking right past her weapons, Alastrina walked towards the group of dwarves who had not so neatly placed themselves at the semi-big wooden table in the dining area of Armia's house. The dwarves were eating the food obviously from Armia's food storage pantry. Alastrina scoffed slightly. Not like Armia would really make a fuss over it when the dwarves had left. She may just laugh it off, and then it ends in a coughing fit…

Alastrina shook her head and let out a very audible sigh at the thought of Armia's sickness.

The first to notice Armia- most likely because of her sigh was Thorin. His eyes trailed towards her stature at the wide framed opening of the dining room. She stood there, back straight and her standing tall- as tall as she could as a dwarf. You could see the pure essence of a female dwarf in her now that it was daytime and Thorin could see her properly.

The clothing she wore looked like it could be used for dwarf men, but it had been made to suite a women, it was deep navy blue accompanied with a black belt, a bronze crest on the belt where the ends met. Her hair had many braids scattered about. Her long hair was dark brown, darker on the tips, it was parted more to one side than the other, giving an illusion she had shaved or cut off a portion of her hair on her left side of her head, on the left side where it looked like that there was one singular braid that hung loosely and clasped with silver/gold looking clasps. Her boots were also dwarf made and obviously dwarf boots. Know you could also see the sideburns/beard she had. It was nothing spectacular, it was small and stopped a few centimetres away from her chins point and was maybe an inch in length, but it was braided as well as it could be in such length. They were somewhat hard to notice when her hair was long and distracting.

"Good morning Alastrina," Gandalf huffed his pipe, which he seemed to use quite a lot.

Alastrina leant back onto the wall and crossed her left foot over her right, folding her arms across her chest, "Good morning to you too Gandalf… And to you all too," she murmured, the dwarves muffled good mornings and hello greetings through their food.

"How did you sleep last night?" Gandalf wondered aloud to Alastrina. To their unknown acknowledgement, the dwarves were listening is as they ate and drank, and talked.

Alastrina's eyes turned into slits of glares. The wizard knew perfectly well she had not slept too well- heck! It had to be somewhat obvious with the light dusting of darkness underneath her eyes- although very light, only a blinds man wouldn't be able to see it if they were not looking at her face.

Alastrina's lips turned into the smallest of pouts before she answered, "Fine, thank you. And yourself Gandalf?"

"Quite well my dear…" Gandalf paused, "The rain has not stopped."

"Indeed… I believe the company should stay at least till the break of dawn tomorrow, it's likely the rain will have died down quite a bit- yet it will still be heavy- just not as terrible. Maybe it'll stop tonight though," Alastrina said, giving a side glance towards Thorin. He noticed of course, and you'd have thought he would have started uproar about staying any longer. Though he did not.

Thorin was no fool; he knew it was not safe to travel in such weather- not save for the health of his company. The river levels had also probably risen as well.

"Looks like they've found Armia's food storage?" Alastrina grabbed an apple before the dwarves could grab it and munched into it.

Gandalf chuckled, "Quite right they have. I am sure Armia will not be too unhappy. She is too nice of a dwarf to let this upset her."

"Very agreeable…" Alastrina trailed off, her apple was already half finished. She was eating fast.

Gandalf rested himself against a wall and stared at Alastrina, "Is there anything you are doing today? There cannot be anything; this weather is quite too disruptive for anything."

"I was thinking I would go visit Armia… And tell her about how I let a group of thirteen dwarves, one hobbit, and a wizard stay in her house and eat all her food," Alastrina's voice held a hidden message behind it.

Gandalf stared at her, then it clicked- she might want to tell Armia she would be leaving with the dwarves- if she could convince them that is, "Ah… Indeed, you probably should. You don't want her coming home wondering where all her food had gone- possibly thinking you ate it all!"

Alastrina scoffed, "I may like food Gandalf, but I'd never eat that much food myself."

Gandalf chuckled and turned his attention back towards the dwarves before sending Alastrina a look.

Alastrina made her way towards her weapons, which were close by Thorin who was by the door and also near the dining room. Carefully she started by putting on her dual blades onto her back and then her dagger into a strapped hilt on her mid-thigh. She placed her long sword onto her back as well and left her bow and arrows there, not wanting to take them for if anything were to happen at all- they wouldn't be a quick grab kind of thing.

Thorin watched her out of the corner of his eyes. He wouldn't ask what she was doing or where she was going- frankly it didn't matter to him- it wasn't any of his business either. But why take all her weapons? Unless she was leaving the village which didn't seem likely, it was more or less hypocritical, telling the dwarves they should wait in the village till the rain let up and then she'd be leaving it herself.

Before Alastrina left she let her eyes run over the dwarves sitting all together, and she noticed Bilbo was also there, trying to eat peacefully as food was spewed round, Gandalf sat with his pipe and Thorin just watched as he leaned on the wall. Alastrina grabbed her thick cloak and pulled it over herself and turned back to look at the dwarves.

"I'll be back in a little while..." Alastrina announced, "Not that it exactly matters to any of you."

Pulling the wooden door of Armia's house open, Alastrina stepped out into the pooring rain and pulled her cloak closer to her body, as well as she could with her weapons on her back and leg. As she walked towards the dirt road in the village she saw no one was outside and no one would be going outside for anything really- Mahal she must be stupid to go out in the rain. Though it did not affect her nor bother her in any way.

Making her way towards Vianala's house, and saw it was illuminated by candles that you could see through the windows. Knocking on the door she waited before an older dwarven women with white hair with a hint of brown in some strands, in one thick singular braid curled upon her head in a bun, beard long and braided together, answered the door.

"Alastrina!" Vianala smiled, "It is so very nice to see you my dear- Please come inside, it is pouring out there. Armia's here as well! But I guess you had already known."

"Thank you, Vianala," Alastrina stepped into Vianala's warm dry home.

"Oh! You can put your cloak near the fire to dry it a bit before you head out again my dear- would you like some tea?" Vianala said- she had always been the cheerful type.

"Oh, sure. Thank you," Alastrina pulled her soaking cloak off and tried to be careful as to not let it soak anywhere in Vianala's house and she placed it near the crisp warm fire, only to see Armia sitting near the fire with a cup of tea in her hand- the spot beside her obviously where Vianala had been.

"Alastrina! What on middle earth are you doing at Vianala's house? You never come over here… In fact you never visit anyone's home. Unless it is the children's that is," Armia sipped a cup of tea she held in her hands.

Alastrina walked towards Armia and crossed her arms, "I was wondering why you didn't come home to your own home the other day? Gandalf had told me you were visiting Vianala's."

"Well. When I saw the dwarves with Gandalf, I had a feeling they'd be staying over at my home with your guidance my dear, and I was right, of course?" Armia laughed heartedly.

"Yes, you were right. What made you think it in the first place though?" questioned Alastrina.

"Oh, well you know me by now dear. I have feelings of things and usually I am correct on them, yes?" she chuckled, "Also, maybe when I was about to come home I could see it was raining and that put a damper on me leaving, quite a heavy one indeed- and I had seen you with the company."

"Of course…" muttered Alastrina as Vianala came into the room with a cup of tea for Alastrina.

Alastrina had never been much of a tea drinker- but that did not mean she didn't enjoy it from time to time.

Taking the tea from Vianala, Alastrina sat down on a soft rocking chair near by where Armia and Vianala and took a sip of the scolding hot tea, the tingling sensation of scolding hot tea on her tongue stung for a moment, only to reside with a weird odd feeling on the taste buds of her tongue. Setting the cup down on the table Alastrina sighed.

"Aside from the obvious reason as to why I came here- to ask you about not coming home because of Gandalf and that company, which I will take that you were being generous and letting them sleep in your home- I wanted to talk about something more," the low throaty noise that escaped Alastrina's throat was unexpected- the scolding tea obviously giving a delayed affect to her throat.

"Go on my dear," was all Armia said as she sipped her tea. Vianala got up and stated she would be in the upstairs part of her house- folding the clothing she took inside the day before- just before it had started to downpour. But it seemed she just wanted to give Alastrina and Armia space privately to speak. Seeing and hearing the seriousness- although always there- in Alastrina's tone was more serious than usual. If that is even possible.

Alastrina's posture slumped somewhat. How to start? No idea she had, but knowing she should probably come straight out with it.

"As you know… Gandalf came with 13 dwarves and a hobbit, correct? Well… I believe they did tell you an outline of what they were doing. And I believe that is only because everyone here was once from Erebor- so it is not too difficult to tell the people of this village. But to my point really… Gandalf wants me to go on the journey with the company- I said no of course… I don't want to abandon this village… But the more I thought about it- I feel trapped in this village. You know, as well as the rest of the village knows, this village has good memories on mine- but the sad ones have overpowered the good. And I know it won't make a difference on my attitude towards anything- my emotional acts as well. But Gandalf has a feeling I am needed. Yet I know not why yet, nor does the old wizard himself. Also, if the pale orc… Is still out and about- which I am sure he is- the orcs have been acting up lately, it's probably the pale khukahs (Orcs) doing, I want to kill him…" Alastrina finished, only taking a few hardy breathes between her sentences.

Armia stared at her for a few silent yet pain staking minutes. Sipping her tea maybe once or twice in the few agonizing minutes of silence. Her left leg crossing over the right and a grunt mumbled in her throat.

"Are you asking if it is alright by me if you leave?" Armia could only ask.

"I guess so… I do not want to leave you if you do not want me to… You are sick after all. And do not give me that, 'It is not so bad Alastrina!' bull you have given to me so many times before. I won't leave if you won't take care of yourself or have help from the other villagers. And I won't leave if you do not want me to," arms crossed over her chest, she huffed.

"If you want to leave- I will not stop you. All I have ever wanted since you have lived with me- since your parents died was for you to be happy. And maybe a company of jolly dwarves whom you have not been around before would do you some good. And if it eases your soul to know for sure if the pale Khuks is no longer breathing, then so be it… I will stay healthy as long as you stay safe."

"I will. Thank you Armia…"

"Ah yes… It seems the rain will stop for a bit later in the night and we will be having the giant bonfires in the centre of town tonight… Maybe you could take the company Gandalf has brought along with the hobbit along to it. It is quite a mood lifting time…" Armia smiled.

"Yes, sure Maybe I can… But alas, I still do not know of how I will convince the dwarves on letting me travel with them…"

"You do not know how? Well, maybe Gandalf has a trick or two up his sneaky sleeves," Armia chuckled as she relaxed into her seat.

Picking up her tea and relaxing into her seat as well, Alastrina sighed, "I sure hope so..."

* * *

Gandalf let the fire and smoke in his pipe die down as the dwarves began to finish up their breakfast. Before they left, he would be sure to restock the shelves of Armia's quaint home. For he could tell she was sick and would want to save her the trouble of refilling the giant stock rooms in her home.

Now he was going to attempt to be a bit convincing as to letting Alastrina assist the company. Clearing his throat, the company of dwarves looked at him with questioning eyes as they somewhat cleaned the mess they had made of the dining room and kitchen, Bilbo sitting off to the side- feeling as traumatic as ever- as if it was a rerun of the night they had destroyed his house! Except, not as bad as this time around. Poor Bilbo could not help but wonder if they only destroyed the houses of those they did not like!

"I would like to talk to you all about Miss Alastrina…" Gandalf began, the dwarves staring intently at him.

Thorin bounced off the wall with a push of him left leg which had been rested upon the wall to prop him up and walked towards Gandalf, "And what of the lass?"

"I believe you should take her on your journey to reclaim Erebor…" Gandalf said as blunt as ever.

"She said herself she did not wish to come," Thorin encountered.

"Aye. And she is a woman, a women on a journey such as this?" Dwalin stood next to Thorin by now.

"Because she is a _dwarf_ women you mean?" Gandalf inquired.

"Any women really," Dwalin gruffly responded.

"But I am no fool to know that dwarves are protective of dwarven women for they are so rare, correct?" Gandalf questioned the dwarves.

The nods could be seen throughout the group, the distant mumbles of agreement.

"Indeed Wizard. You are right, dwarven women have no place in such dangerous positions. But the bigger deal is how do we know if she can hold herself. How do we know if she can fight on her own and not need someone to watch over her? How do we know she will be no burden?" Thorin countered.

"You do not know. But, I have known her for many a years now, she is indeed a fighter. A good one at that, she has travelled many a places before and fought many creatures by now, she's been taught by the high and the lows. She has seen many things in her years and they have made her stronger… She would not burden you, that I am quite sure Master Dwarves," declared Gandalf sternly and yet proudly.

"What has she seen then?" Thorin grunted.

"I believe that is for her to tell you in her own town, yes?" Gandalf chuckled.

The dwarves all looked at each other.

"I quite like the lass actually," Bofur smiled, "She seems like she is quite a nice dwarven maiden."

Bilbo mustered up the courage to join in the conversation, "Yes! I quite like her to actually. She was quite nice to me yesterday- quite nice to all of us really… She would not be bad to have on the journey."

Thorin glowered. Some of the company liked her. But he knew that Dwalin and Balin shared his views on bringing a maiden on such a quest. The rest of the company was either unsure or did not care, or they liked her and thought she would be a good companion.

Thorin sighed, somewhat in a defeated way, but would never be one to admit, "Fine. But if she is a burden I will send her right back here. She better know what she's doing wizard."

"With the amount of weapons she carries Thorin Oakenshield. She of course does," Gandalf smirked.

Balin was the first to encounter, "No offence to the young lass, but are you sure of this Thorin-"

"I am sure… As I said, if she is not deemed to be able to fight or take care of herself decently then she will be sent back or to the nearest village," Thorin paused, "Make her a contract Balin. Have her read it when she returns from where she has gone."

Unsure, Balin nodded and began a quick contract for the lass.

* * *

Alastrina noticed it was getting late; the sun nearly set and brushed the sky with vibrant oranges and soft reds, soon to be night. And the rain had also ceased, but it was clear in the greying clouds the rain would soon begin again, at the break of dawn indeed.

Deciding to leave Vianala's after speaking to Armia and telling her the dwarves would be staying another night, most likely. Alastrina didn't have to walk long to get to Armia's home where the dwarves still resided, on her way she noticed the kids decided to come outside, probably cranky from being cramped inside the day. Walking up to Armia's door, Alastrina opened it and saw the dwarves all in the living room, the big living room with the fire lit. The first to come to her was Gandalf.

"Alastrina, nice you are back now- I need to talk with you," he said, bringing Alastrina into the dining room which was a distance away from the dwarves.

Alastrina had expected the dining room to be more of mess, but It was quite clean. Pushing those thoughts away she looked at Gandalf, "Yes?" was all she said.

"I have convinced the company to let you along. Though most are skeptical, especially Thorin, that you cannot hold up for yourself and fight for yourself. Though Bilbo and Bofur seem quite pleased you will be coming along."

"I can easily prove I will be able to fight on my own. If looking at the amount of blades and weapons I own was not enough, and then it should not be too hard to show I have fight in me… Gaining the trusts of dwarves is no easy task though. I should know this- being a maiden dwarf myself…" Alastrina trailed off. Relieved she would not be the one to fight with the dwarves of her coming.

On the wooden dining table was her contract and a feather with ink, quickly dipping the feather in the ink and elegantly writing her name, she placed, "Alastrina Goodwind," Nicely on the bottom.

"Done…" she sighed.

"Ah yes, I convinced them to stay till morn. They had wanted to leave when you got back but I reasoned that it would be soon the night and the darkness isn't to be traveled in so lightly," Gandalf picked the contract off, ready to hand it over to Balin who kept the contracts.

"Yes. Well the annual bonfire we hold every few weeks is tonight because of the rain ceasing… Maybe we can go to that tonight before we leave in the morning. I'd like to see it at least one last time…" Alastrina smiled unknowingly, but kept it well hidden from the view of Gandalfs curious eyes.

"Of course… You should go ask them."

Alastrina nodded and walked to where the dwarves were resided, laughing loudly and cheerfully, much like the dwarves of the village at the bonfires, and making quite a bit of jokes.

Alastrina cleared her throat gaining their attention, "I know we will not be living till the break of dawn- when the rain is starting again, but not as heavy as before. But because of the rain being calm at the moment, the village often has bonfires every few weeks where we all join together and sing songs, dance, and tell old tales, or tales in general really… It should be starting soon and I'd like to go to it, I will be actually. But I was wondering if you would all like to go as well, get out of being cramped up and have some fun outside of this house?"

The dwarves, particularly the younger bunch, but all of them, looking excited and quite happy, the most nodded in agreement and then Alastrina looked at Thorin.

"Well? We need your permission honestly," Alastrina stared intently, an eyebrow raised.

Thorin stared at her for a moment, "Fine…"

Alastrina nodded, "Good. Well it'll be starting soon seeing as the night is almost completely upon us, we'd better get going."

And with that, all the dwarves, Bilbo, and Gandalf followed along to the center of the village.

* * *

Once there, the fire had already been started. And boy was it a giant fire, crackling with the flames and burning embers every few moments. It was quite the warming fire, nothing scary, it was calm. And it was clear that the other dwarves from the village were already surrounding the fire, the little kids running around it circling it. Their parents bellowing to them to be careful, but when they saw Alastrina they stopped and all ran to her, the two girls ahead of the boys.

They slammed into Alastrina and her weapons clanked a bit and she let out a hmph of surprise and the force of the childrens impact.

"Alastrina! Alastrina!" the blonde child smiled, Alisia, "You haven't been to one of the bonfires in a while. We missed you coming!"

"Aye. I'm sorry, but at least I am at this one, right?" Alastrina smiled.

"Yes!" Lisia, the brown haired sister, smiled and the others nodded in unison

The dwarves of the company watched as Alastrina talked to the little dwarf kids. It warmed their hearts, even Dwalins, to see little dwarven kids, in which they had not seen for quite some time.

Thorin though, noticed that when Alastrina smiled, even if she was quite good at making it seem realistic and truthful, it was not. Though there was some hint of realism the majority was no. And even though he seemingly could care less about Alastrina, thinking she was no use of the company at the moment, he felt confused about her and wondered why she would fake such a smile.

As all the dwarves began to sit at the fires, they began to tell old stories of Erebor which entranced everyone. Even the company, who enjoyed hearing stories of the land of theirs as well that was once taken and that they were on a quest at the very moment to take back.

As stories and tales were shared, laughs as well, some songs here and there, the two sisters, Alisia and Lisia left the group of other children their age and walked towards Fili and Kili.

Alisia looked up at Fili and caught his attention with a tug on his surcoat, as well as Kili's as she smiled brightly at the two, "I like your braids!" Alisia cried out in the most adorable way to the two brothers.

Fili laughed, and Kili did as well and Lisia nodded in unison, Fili picking up Alisia as she giggled, "Why thank you young lass! You have quite the beautiful braids yerself."

Kili picked up Lisia carefully, she herself giggling.

"I'm Alisia!" the blonde dwarf child chided.

"And I'm Lisia! Alisia's little sister!" (I decided to make Alisia older then Lisia, though they have no main main roles, they are just here for some cute entertainment haha)

"Well then, I am Fili," Fili smirked, amused at the two children.

"And I'm Kili," Kili smiled.

"At your service young dwarven maidens," they both chuckled; the two dwarf girls were completely adorable to everyone, even the company.

Alisia and Lisia stayed with Fili and Kili and talked to them as well as they could as little dwarflings, as the dwarves spoke and sang. Till one of the dwarven children, one of the boys walked up to Alastrina, who had placed herself beside Bofur and Bilbo, Thorin and Dwalin were across from them.

"Alastrina!" the dwarven boy smiled at her tugging her coat, "Could you tell us the story of the orcs who attacked the village?"

A pained emotion clouded Alastrina's eyes for a moment, only to disappear seconds later, noticed by Thorin, which again left him confused and wondering.

"I have told the story of that many a times now," Alastrina smiled.

"But it's such a great story…" the other boy dwarves nodded, the elder dwarves of the village looked at her in a sorry sort of way, they knew she did not like to revisit the tale, but the kids loved it and she told it to them before, of course not talking of her family.

Sighing, Alastrina began, "Fine… But only this once…"

All the dwarves, even the company of Thorin Oakenshield , and Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf looked at Alastrina as she cleared her throat. Though Gandalf had heard this tale before, in more detail of course, he knew what had happened that night.

"Many year ago in this very village, when we had just escaped from Erebor and I was just a young dwarfling, and we were much more than we are now. 140ish maybe… We were attacked by orcs…" Alastrina stared into the fires as it crackled and cackled.

"We had many men who knew how to fight, and so they did. They fought of the orcs and killed them with their amazing power. What would you expect from dwarves born in Erebor?" Alastrina smirked, soon to disappear as she continued.

"The dwarves fought them well but we were brought down to the eighties and seventies in the village, not as many as we used to have… The orc who had attacked was driven out and we had not managed to kill him. We do not know if he lives if he roams, but our village is a strong village…" Alastrina finished off.

The dwarves all stared intently, the little boys saying how they would like to be like the dwarven warriors in the village and protect everyone when they grew up.

Then songs were sang again and dances were danced, but Alastrina seemed distant as she looked into the fires and embers.

And it sparked the interest of Thorin Oakenshield.

_**A/N: Tried to make a longer chapter yay How was it this time? I know it's slow but it'll pick up next chapter and yes I changed the name from Shattered Memories to These Little Secrets, though it might be changed again I have yet to find the perfect name for the story haha. If you have any suggestions tell them to me Sorry this was a bit slow of an update but for personal reasons they will be slowed okay? And anyway, as from a review I had gotten I may make Bofur/OC a father daughter relationship or maybe (from my own thoughts this time) a Dwalin/OC father daughter relationship. Anywho hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading reviewing and for the favourites and following OH AND, seriously how was the 3**__**rd**__** person? Do you like 1**__**st**__** person or 3**__**rd**__** better, I need to know.**_


	6. Using a Weapon, A Bit of Talk

_**A/N: Eh, I decided to write in 3**__**rd**__** person, but sometimes it will be in 1**__**st**__** person. Anyway, I published this story on Quotev so if you see it there, no, the person who posted it did not plagiarize, and it is me. So ya… Anywho, enjoy **_

_**(Oh and yes, I changed the stories name 3 time- it was Shattered Memories and Simply Shattered but now it is Battle Scars so yay… You like.)**_

Alastrina, who had been awake for quite some time now like usual in the mornings, began to put her clothing on. Tightening the belt around her waist and pulling her boots onto her foot, stomping her foot on the floor to make sure it was on properly. Her weapons were in Armia's room instead of down stairs this time- unlike the other day. Her coat had arms this time- it was the same coat as before- just with arms this time so it wasn't exactly a surcoat anymore, but she did keep her surcoat in her pack just in case it got warm outside and she wanted to wear it.

Instead of placing all her weapons on her back, she placed her daggers and her arrows on her back, tightening the strap of the arrows to keep them in place, and attached her sword onto her waist belt. She also had her bow attached to a strap on her back so she didn't need to hold it all the time.

Grabbing her pack, she walked down stairs carefully seeing the dwarves asleep and dawn was close under the clouds, but not yet there. Thorin, of course, was awake and standing by a dully lit fire in the fireplace, and soon he would be waking everyone up. He heard Alastrina even if she was attempting to be quite. But he had the advantage, being awake and having a more than half decent sense of hearing. Thorin turned his head to look at Alastrina who looked at Thorin- knowing he was awake and sensing he had noticed her.

It was silent for a few moments as they looked at one another.

"Why are you awake?" Thorin asked, his facial expression staying the same stern one he usually had.

Alastrina seemed to have been tense because her muscles in her arms and her whole body stature relaxed, "I could ask you the very same question. The sun is not even up yet."

Thorin could only raise an eyebrow at the dwarf women standing before him, "I am usually awake before the company- now you answer me."

Alastrina walked towards the door and placed her pack beside it, turning her back towards Thorin as she kneeled on the floor to look inside her pack to make sure she didn't leave anything upstairs.

"I am going to the villages' farm," Alastrina closed the pack, "my pony is there- the villages' farmer, Taren, keeps her with him when I don't need her…"

It got quite again for a few minutes before Alastrina cleared her throat and straightened her back, looking at Thorin intently as she could and attempting to not shy away from his hard gaze, "Would you like to come with me?"

Alastrina wanted to attempt to at least get on good or better terms with Thorin because this journey would take long months and being with others who cannot stand you is never a good thing. Not that he has ever said to her in the past two days that he has despised her and or disliked her, but only a fool of a dwarf wouldn't be able to tell he was not to fond of her. As much as Alastrina was cold and a hard rock- she probably couldn't compare to Thorin's demeanor of coldness.

Though it should never be uttered that someone has seen more pain than another person who has seen pain- everyone has seen their on sadness and it is not up to anyone to say that theirs are worse than yours. Both their cold demeanors could be considered the same you could say- everyone has their own coldness's.

Thorin contemplated before he nodded unsure of himself even.

Alastrina nodded and opened the door to go outside and let Thorin walk out first. Turning back, to look at Alastrina.

Alastrina went to grab her cloak but her hand recoiled- thinking she wouldn't even need it, so there was no need for the extra baggage at the moment. Closing the door behind her, Alastrina walked towards Thorin who was waiting for her to finish what she was doing.

Thorin didn't exactly know why he was even going with her. Out of boredom? No… Maybe, most likely not. He wouldn't like to admit it- but he was somewhat confused by the dwarf. Anyone could tell she was cold but she also tried to smile- her eyes were always clouded with some sort of unknown cold emotion- It would be a lie to say that it did not confuse or spark the interest of other dwarves in the village, though they did not ask her anything about it for as long as they'd known her. And they did a pretty good job at hiding it, so Thorin was just as well at hiding it then the villager's dwarves- he actually frustrated himself being interested in her and confused. He had wanted nothing to do with the female, and yet he was letting her on their quest.

The two walked in a rather awkward silence, Alastrina couldn't exactly believe that he was actually going with her. Maybe he was just bored and wanted something to do. But even if Alastrina barely knew him, she felt that he did not seem like the type to just go about dilly-dallying because he was bored and needed something to entertain himself. No, he did not seem like that type of person.

As they walked, side by side, a bit of space between the two, Alastrina looked up at the sky and saw that clouds were beginning to role in again, the sun that was beginning to peak was now hidden by grey clouds that rolled in as quick as water down a stream during a storm. Alastrina's brows knitted together as she let her eyes slip quickly toward the dwarf beside her who walked straight with no facial expressions, then back up to the sky.

"The rain looks like it has decided to come back," Alastrina said, noticing Thorin's face, as If she was about to suggest they stay another day till such deluge let up.

"No no no…" Alastrina stated quickly, "it looks like it might be just a drizzle… Though, I can't tell the weather. I barely know the weather really- it's just it looks like it won't be bad… It will probably start soon and end just before we leave… Again, I am just guessing… Sorry, I am ranting."

Thorin looked at Alastrina and the slightest hint of amusement danced across his eyes, yet he did well enough to ignore it. He seemingly brushed off her rant.

"Tis fine," he managed to say, his cold demeanor clashed with the cold one she attempted to hold.

In all honesty, Alastrina could keep the coldness; it was not hard because she felt rather cold inside most of the time, but clashing with Thorin's coldness made her feel somewhat uneasy, nervous even.

Just then the rain began to fall, but it was not a heavy rain, it was a light drizzle just as Alastrina had guessed it would be.

"I did not think I would be right in the slightest… I have been lucky I guess when guessing the weather lately…" Alastrina sighed as she whipped her eyebrow.

"Maybe you will be good for telling as the weather, yes?" Thorin said; a bit of a conversation was brewing.

"Indeed, maybe I will. But I can't say this lucky streak of luck will be here much longer. I have terrible luck really," Alastrina could barely believe she was striking conversation with the cold dwarf beside her. And the few dwarves in the village that were outside in the slight drizzle had to hide their surprise that someone managed to have a half assed conversation with Alastrina.

It wasn't much of a full conversation but it sure as hell was one of the conversations you had with people you were not used to or strangers, the half assed ones.

Soon enough the two had reached the farmers' fields and a note was on the door of the farm house where the horses were, Alastrina plucked it off the door.

"Alastrina, Khuzi is in the 2nd stall on the right, little bugger she is! She's quite something; I don't understand how she lets you touch when she lets no one else. Anyway, feel free to take her," Alastrina read aloud

Crumpling the parchment paper and placing it in her pocket, Alastrina opened the door to the barn and kept it open for Thorin.

In the second stall on the right was a beautiful pony who was all black, but her mane was white and there was a patch of white over her right eye, there were specks of a dark brown upon her coat but they were hard to see. Alastrina raised her hands out to her pony she petting her on the nose.

"Khuzi, were you causing trouble… Again?" Alastrina sighed, a ghost of a smirk on her lips.

Alastrina opened the door to Khuzi's stall and grabbed the reins hung on the side of the door and placed them over Khuzi carefully, "Though, I'm not surprised…"

"Khuzi?"Thorin interrupted following Alastrina out the pastor and closing the door to it behind them.

Alastrina pulled Khuzi along and walked with Thorin and Khuzi on either side of her, looking at Thorin from the corner of her eyes she spoke, "Yup. Her name is Khuzi, which I am sure you know means Warrior in Khuzdul."

"Indeed. But why Khuzi?"

"Khuzi… Khuzi because she is a warrior and will do anything and everything to protect me and those she cares about," Alastrina said as they made their way up onto Armia's house, all the dwarves were ready when they got there, they had went out and got the ponies while Thorin and Alastrina went to get Khuzi.

The drizzle still fell and before the two reached the rest of the company Alastrina stopped, "Thank you for the company this morning."

"You are welcome."

And that was very much that only small bit of interaction they'd have that was a neutral way of speaking for quite a bit.

They walked to the company in silence from then on.

* * *

The company had set out with their newest member, Alastrina, not too long after Thorin and she had brought back her pony, Khuzi. The dwarves were still somewhat uncertain of having a women dwarf on their quest. In Alastrina's opinion, they'd just have to deal with it and get over it. The company made their way around in silence. Alastrina was near the back beside Bilbo and Fili and Kili.

"So, how old are you two?" Alastrina decided to ask, her voice one toned as usual, but the coldness did not affect the dwarf princes, they were used to Thorin as was the rest of the company- maybe not Bilbo.

"Well, I'm 82, and Lil'o Kili over here is about 77," Fili picked some fun at his younger sibling, who seemed disgruntled by the words.

"I am not _that_ young Fee," Kili muttered.

Alastrina could almost laugh at their banters, but couldn't bring herself to do so, "You are both young. Really young compared to me and a lot of the others in the company. Me being 143 you're both just children," Alastrina was half joking and half being serious.

"Aye, you're old. Not as old as uncle though," Kili said. Bilbo just listened in on their conversing.

"I would think so," Alastrina straightened her back which was slumping considerably.

"What makes you think so?" Fili asked.

"Well of course he's older than me, I was only 23 when Smaug attacked, only a youngling and he was obviously older than me," the tone of Alastrina's voice hinted a "duh" tone.

Bilbo piped in, "Alastrina, is everyone in your village from Erebor?" Bilbo had completely changed the subject, not interested in the subject of ages.

"Yes, Pretty much. I was the youngest one there from Erebor, who had directly been born, the children obviously were not. They are all too young to have been there when it happened; they only hear stories about it," said Alastrina, gaze appointed to right ahead of her.

"I know not much about the quest as I should probably know. But I know enough, of course you know plenty of course?" Bilbo asked.

"To an extent- yes," she answered.

The heirs of Durin looked at her, "To an extent? I thought you were there when it had happened?" Kili asked.

"I was. But I was only young- I know a lot about what we are doing and I know a lot about the dragon, I remember him as clear as day, but some things are a bit blurry," Alastrina swallowed hard, remembering the burning homes and corpses on the ground, which reminded her of her parents, and she dare not think about her brother…

Her brother was never mentioned really, he had died when Smaug had attacked unable to escape because for one he had been injured badly when he protected Alastrina from some falling debris and he had also stayed back to help other dwarves escape. Alastrina didn't like the thought of him because she already had to deal with her parents death and the nightmares she had of him which she hadn't had for years because she blocked out thoughts of him, were worse than the ones of her parents sometimes- but even if she felt it was her fault her parents died, she felt it worse that it was her fault her brother died, if he hadn't protected her then he'd probably have more a chance.

Alastrina had gotten rid of every single drawing or memory of him she had ever owned, except for one which was a group drawing of her family when he was still around which she had folded his part of the photo off, that was the drawing Bilbo had seen and Alastrina had put the same drawing in her pack, not daring to open her brothers side, she had trouble even remembering what he looked like.

Of course she could just cut or rip out his part of the drawing but that made Alastrina feel like she was considering him not even a part of her family, which he was, and it would ruin the drawing. If she could, Alastrina would block off all of her families memories which she was slowly but unknowingly doing.

Unbeknown to her, the rest of the company had went silent listening to her talk but when they noticed the aura of coldness had deepened around her, they went back to taking part of their own groups of conversing.

After that, Alastrina stayed quiet and just stared ahead, Fili and Kili conversing with each other with the company of Bilbo from time to time, more or less to pick on him or joke, to which Alastrina would threaten them to stop, so Bilbo would ride closer to Alastrina and now, Bofur, who had joined them further back.

* * *

The sun was beginning to set, and all in all, Alastrina being around hadn't turned out to be so bad. Maybe it was because there had not been any points along the way for her to prove herself of being strong, and now Thorin was beginning to regret the decision more, he didn't know whether to like the dwarf or to dislike her, he couldn't figure it out yet. To an extent, he disliked her because she was just a dwarf maiden who would slow them down if she had no skill in fighting. It had been smooth that day, so there was no point where something had happened in which she could do anything about it.

Thorin had decided they would stop near a cliff like area with plenty a rock. The ponies had been tied up by Fili and Kili but no one had to really watch them in pairs or in ones or anything because they were in the view of everyone. The sun was not completely set yet so Bombur and Bofur had started to make something to eat with the food they had. They were all just sitting around waiting and talking amongst themselves, Alastrina not exactly included.

But just as Alastrina sat there leaning her back against the giant rock wall, Fili and Kili waltzed towards her, eyeing her weapons.

Alastrina noticed they were eyeing her weapons and quirked an eyebrow, "What?"

"You have a lot of weapons. Good weapons," Fili said.

"For a woman," Kili added. All the dwarves had to agree, they had never seen a women, let alone a dwarf women with so many weapons, good weapons.

Alastrina's eyebrow twitched, "Yes, problem?"

"Can ya use em?" concluded Fili.

Alastrina's eyes turned to slits, "Of course I can. Why would I have them if I could not?"

"Prove it," a voice said, not from the two princes of Durin this time, it was Dwalin's.

"What?" Alastrina sputtered dumbfounded for a moment.

"Prove ye can use those weapons lass," Dwalin repeated with more detail.

Alastrina stood up quickly and dusted her pants off, "Of course. How?"

"Spar with Fili or Kili," a voice, not Dwalin's, not Fili or Kili's, of course, said, it was Thorin this time. He had been further away from the company till now.

"Why? You don't want me ta hurt Dwalin or something?" shot Alastrina.

"More like I'd hurt ye," Dwalin answered this time. A barely audible sigh left Alastrina's lips, but she let it go.

Pulling out her dual daggers/blades, she faced the two princes of Durin.

Fili had decided to spar with her, Kili would have but he didn't want to hurt her or something, to which Alastrina had scoffed at. After telling Fili to not be fragile with her because she was a girl and telling him to stop acting like she was fragile when they had started and he held back, he began to fight normally instead of like she was a porcelain doll to which would break at the touch.

And so they sparred, Alastrina held up at the beginning making her look bad and look like she had barely any knowledge of fighting, but when Alastrina picked up on Fili's style of fighting, she fought back. And she fought back well. At one point she had managed to disarm Fili of one of his blades, know he was only with one. Fili then disarmed her of one of hers, and they were both equal to weapon ratios. In a quick spur, noticing Fili slowed down for just a split second, Alastrina took the chance to snatch Fili's blade so now she had two again and she pushed him against the wall, a blade at his neck and one at his chest.

"Dead," she panted, "You would be dead right now if this was not sparring…"

Pushing herself back, she threw the sword at Fili which he caught easily and she picked up her own, placing them back in the hilts.

"Does this prove I can use them?" Alastrina grumbled.

"You have quite the skill lass," Bofur said.

The other dwarves all nodded and quickly said things in agreement; even Thorin curtly nodded which was quite the surprise.

* * *

After the little sparring situation, the dwarves did seem to be a little easier around Alastrina, but maybe that was just for the rest of the day. They had all eaten what Bombur had made, stew, which was quite delicious and now they were sitting around a fire. Actually, Fili, Kili, and Alastrina were. Thorin was off in a distance by the cliff edge, Bilbo was near the ponies and the other dwarves were sleeping or just lying in their bed rolls.

The sound of orcs and wargs interrupted the silence, Bilbo scurrying back towards them and Alastrina tensing herself.

"What was that?" Bilbo squeaked.

Fili and Kili looked at Bilbo for a moment, "Orcs," Kili said, serious face and all.

"Orcs?" Bilbo managed to get out.

"Throat cutters," Fili butt in, "There'd be dozens of em out there," he gestured out.

Alastrina glared, as Bilbo looked even more scared by the minute.

"They strike at the wee hours of the night, while everyone's asleep," Kili exclaimed, "Quick and quite, hear nobodies' screams… Just lots of blood," his voice lowered.

By then Bilbo looked as if he would faint- he looked absolutely terrified and Alastrina felt absolutely pissed.

The two princes looked at each other and snickered which triggered a reaction from Alastrina.

"That," began Alastrina, voice as cold as ice, colder than usual and dark, "Was not, and is not funny."

The two looked at her, looking sheepish for a moment when Thorin walked over, looking angrier.

"Yes. You think that's funny?" Thorin began, voice deep and low, "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

The two looked equally ashamed and embarrassed, "We didn't mean anything by it…" Kili stuttered lowering his gaze to the ground.

"No. You didn't," Thorin's voice seeped with anger, "You know nothing of the world."

And with that, Thorin walked off in long strides, only to be watched by the four, including Gandalf and Balin who were still about.

Balin walked over and began in a comforting voice, "Don't mind him laddie, Thorin has more cause them most to hate orcs."

They glanced towards Thorin for moments as he stood by the ponies know.

And with that, Balin began to retell the tale of king Thror attempting in reclaiming Moria… Of how their enemy the orcs had gotten there first… And once the words slid off of Balin's tongue of the pale orc, Alastrina tensed, a cold rush going through her body. As Balin finished the heart wrenching tale, Alastrina uncomfortable now. All the dwarves though were no awake and standing, staring at Thorin who had turned around to face them all. But Bilbo, he looked somewhat confused.

"And the pale Orc," Bilbo interrupted the moment grasping the attention of Balin, "what happened to him?"

Alastrina strained her ears even though she could hear them perfectly fine. What happened to the pale orc? She wanted- no needed- to know…

Thorin walked over, "he slunk back into the hole from once he came. That filth… Died of his wounds long ago…"

Alastrina stared. He died? No… She looked to Gandalf and Balin who gave Alastrina a look, a look that said otherwise as if he was not dead. This pale orc, he was not dead was he? He hadn't died of those wounds… Alastrina swallowed and looked away from Gandalf and Balin who had turned to look at one another. No, she would not ask if they were sure, she did not want to upset Thorin… Not any of them.

_The pale orc… _Alastrina thought, _He isn't dead is he? Well at least not yet… _

Not yet…

**A/N: Sorry it's been over 10 days… I'm sorry really ;-; I did say though updates would be slow and stuff and also I wanted to say AGAIN I posted this story on Quotev so the person who posted it there is not plagiarizing okay, it is me.**

**Also, some chapters I may switch from being in 3****rd**** person to 1****st**** person because I like both, okay? And plus no one is telling me if I should or not so I had to just go off of my own thoughts and do what I thought I should… Anywho, I hope you enjoyed I don't want to rush this story and sorry if there are any spelling errors. **

**Khuzdul (From what I find):**

**Khuzi: Warrior**


	7. Breaking the Walls Slowly, History

_**A/N SO, I have decided with a comment that I will indeed be doing this story in 3rd person AND 1st person P.O.V's. This chapter'll be in 1st person Alastrina POV. Anywho, thank you for reading my story you guys it really means a whole lot to me and it makes me smile when I see people are actually enjoying my not so good writing.**_

_**I hope you enjoy this chapter either way **_

Alastrina's POV:

My sleep had not been the very best- I had even worse trouble sleeping due to the fact Thorin and the rest of the company- except for Balin and Gandalf it seems, thinks the pale orc is dead. Apparently from what Balin had told he had been gravely injured by Thorin to which Thorin had said that he had slunk back into his filthy hole and passed on there from the wounds. But I'm not an idiot. The looks Gandalf and Balin shared, not only with themselves, but with me, proved that they have their worries, and that he isn't as dead as we all believe. But me, I was never sure if he had died or not till now. But the point is, it caused me to be wide awake in the night and Fili and Kili's stupid words of orcs to Bilbo had riled me up, if it hadn't been obvious enough when they did. I am sure they feel stupid especially after Thorin scolded them.

I sat up carefully on my bedroll and stretched my legs. The sun was barely over the clouds and when I looked around the rest of the company, Bilbo included, were all sleeping in there bedrolls. I had managed to place my bedroll further off from the group but closer to Bilbo, I felt bad that the two idiots of Durin had to scare the daylights out of him.

I'd like to think that after sparring with Fili and winning, the dwarves seem to like me more. Though who am I to say, they only told me I was a good fighter and had skills- and I am sure that I proved I could use my weapons. Of course I understand that dwarves are protective of female dwarves- but I'm not one to let myself be caged away because I am a female dwarf. I guess I just don't agree with the ways of dwarves with women, even if I am one myself.

Carefully standing I didn't want to wake Bilbo, he had been tossing and turning for Mahal knows how long last night- again I believe it was because of Fili and Kili's very hilarious speech on orcs- note my undoubtable sarcasm there.

As I quietly, as I could be really, rolled by my bed roll and placed in on my pack, I noticed some of the others were beginning to stir. I noticed Bilbo on his bedroll stir and I looked at him, he opened his eyes reluctantly and seemed dazed to the world for a moment.

"Morning Bilbo," I snapped him out of his dazed stare at the sky, he sat up and stared at me.

"Good morning Miss Alastrina," I sighed a bit at the name.

"Please- Bilbo, Alastrina is fine you know."

"Of course!" Bilbo scrambled up right and began to roll up his bedroll, noticing that the other dwarves had also gotten their bedrolls put away.

Bombur who had just gotten up was already getting ready to make something to eat.

The sun was beginning to really show now, because the gleam came through some trees and nearly blinded me for a moment. Squinting, I shied away from the sunlight's glare and stood up; walking towards where I had noticed the other dwarves had now placed themselves. I placed myself a bit further away from the dwarves, and no one seemed to really acknowledge it or care. I had the slightest feeling that maybe the dwarves still weren't too keen of me. Though I cannot blame them, we dwarves are skeptical of any new companion of any race.

I sat leaned against a tree and watched the dwarves as they waited to eat. And then there was Bilbo, who at least looked like he was making an effort to befriend or gain the trust of the dwarves, while I did not… Now, usually others would try to gain the trust of their companions, but not me. Of course, I wanted it, but they seemed to maybe dislike me more than they had Bilbo. Except, I might just be over reacting and they probably treated Bilbo like they were treating me, being skeptical of him, and deeming him unwise of being here and not exactly conversing with him, when I wasn't here. Except, they still did it, just not as much, it was more directed towards me now. I bet it felt good for Bilbo, not having 13 dwarves breathing down your back, giving you looks of expectancy and skeptically.

I could tell from just a glance that they thought none too highly of Bilbo, I could tell by the way some looked upon him that they thought he was just a weak little hobbit and was a burden. But Bilbo was trying; they had to give him credit for that at least. The only one who was truly nice to Bilbo was Bofur from what I could tell.

As I sat, watching the others from a bit of a distance, I heard Bofur.

"Why lass! You should come over here and sit with us. We're about to eat before we head out again. Ye need strength too ye know, and what better why- aside from sleeping- to get it by eatin'!" Bofur smiled my way. He sounded somewhat like my father would when he told me I needed to be strong and to eat a lot to continuously keep my strength- and someday be as strong as him. Even if he was A LOT stronger than me.

Bofur. He was the nicest of all the dwarves in so many ways. He was cheerful, and just by the way he talked and acted I could tell he had a few jokes to tell, or some funny remarks to share amongst everyone.

I stared for a moment before pulling myself off of the ground and walked towards the company, and for a change Thorin was nearer to the company.

I sat between Bilbo and Bofur, the dwarves engaged themselves in their own bustle of conversation and I just sat there and ate quietly. I guess it was awkward to an extent- but not entirely. It didn't bother me all too much, especially with Bilbo and Bofur beside me. They were the nicest as I could tell so far. Fili and Kili were just cocky little youngsters- specifically Kili. He is what, 77? I think that's what Fili had mentioned to me. I am 66 years his elder and 61 years Fili's.

"Hey, Alastrina," Kili said, I didn't look at him.

"What?" I said, eating some of the bacon I had.

When he didn't answer me, I looked up quirking an eyebrow and then he flung his bacon at my head and it hit me square in the face. My expression went from confused to angry and annoyed, but I could almost laugh at the young prince.

"Haha," I said sarcastically as I stood up, "That is one less piece of food for you."

I felt so un… me?

He only laughed along with the amusement of the younger dwarves, "It was worth it. The annoyance on your face was priceless- much different from the usual expressions."

I inwardly rolled my eyes as I made my way to the ponies. I guess they were warming up to me- and I guess I was warming up to them. And I guess it kind of bothered me, I kind of didn't like it. It seemed like maybe they were breaking down these walls I was trying so hard to keep up- the walls I kept up for over 100 years. And it annoyed me- because I didn't want to let them down. Heck, I had only known them for 3 days, going on 4 now. Maybe it was that they were new company who I hadn't known beforehand. But I didn't think that was it. But I knew for sure that I did NOT like that they may be breaking my walls, though it's still unclear if they really are or if I'm just trying to get along with them…

The ponies looked as me as I made a very audible sigh as I stood up on the hill like slant that they had all been placed on, they had stopped chewing the grass and stared at me. I could almost laugh, but I scoffed instead at the sight of Khuzi. She had instantly gotten along with the other ponies- though I guess ponies are not dwarves and don't have trust problems, you could call them I guess.

I stroked Khuzi's main as she let out of grunt at me and I giggled a bit at her, before stopping myself. Stopping, I looked out over the skies and thought about the clouds that were passing through.

I sighed but was interrupted, "And the weather?"

It was Thorin, I realized, as I shot around. I could tell he was just joking around, though that's so uncharacteristic from what I could tell.

Getting past the fact that Thorin may or may not have some sense of humour, I shook my head and ignored the shock, "I think… I think it's going to rain…" I pointed to the clouds, "I mean, the clouds look grey. Though, again, you really shouldn't rely on my sense for the weather. I am unlucky."

I felt like I was having trouble trying to keep the demeanor I had around Thorin especially, if the others weren't making it hard enough, he was making it even harder. It wracked my brain and gave me a headache, and I didn't like it.

You know that feeling you get when you are lying, or maybe trying to hold in a secret? The feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? Maybe its guilt, but it can't be really classified as it. It's like you're about to explode with secrets? Yes, that's what it felt like around the dwarves, especially Thorin. I spend all my years being cold, and now it's wavering. And way too fast for my liking.

"Not too unlucky. You were right the times before, and it looks like you'll be right now," Thorin said, not looking at me but the clouds.

"We're about to leave, right?" I said, the cold taking my voice over completely which could almost make me sigh of relief.

"Yes."

And with that, Thorin and the other dwarves got onto their ponies, including me, Bilbo, and Gandalf on his horse, and we set off.

* * *

"Alastrina," I heard a voice call for me, Ori I think.

"Yes, Ori?" I asked, my reigns in my hands, the grip loose because we were only going in slow pace.

He cleared his throat, "You told Bilbo that you travelled a lot-" he paused seeming unsure of what he was saying, I only looked on for him to continue, which he did, "And you told him you would tell him stories of your adventures…" he was cut short by someone else.

"I nearly forgot about that!" Bilbo interfered, he looked hesitant as he left his attention from his pony towards me as he nearly fell off, I smirked a bit and quickly tried to hide.

"I saw that lass," Bofur smirked at me.

"Saw what?" I asked.

Bofur was riding with me, Bilbo, Fili, Kili, and Ori in the back of the group where we had all talked.

Bofur looked at me for a moment before brushing it off, "Oh nothing."

"A-anyway," Ori stuttered. Such an innocent dwarf he seemed to be, "I was wondering if you'd share them with me as well."

"Oh, of course," I said.

"Ya, share yer adventures with us!" Kili said, sounding more childish than I think he had intended to.

Soon enough I had more than half the dwarves listening- maybe they all were I wasn't sure if Thorin was or not. But it surprised me that Dwalin was listening.

Straightening my back out I asked, "How about the time I went to Rivendell?"

Bilbo looked a bit excited, "Oh yes. I always loved elves…"

I saw all the dwarves groan a bit. Bilbo looked confused and stared.

"No harm did Bilbo. Just we dwarves aren't particularly fond of elves, tis all," I said, remembering the elven king Thranduil's face, as he denied us help. I may have been young, but I do remember that.

"Not fond of the elves?" Bilbo questioned. It was like he couldn't understand how you could ever hate the elves.

"Well, hate really," I corrected myself.

Bilbo's eyes widened, "Hate?! That really is a strong word-"

"Ya, but what they did was cruel, I mean not ALL elves took part…"

"What do you mean?" Bilbo quizzically piped, "What did the elves do?"

I thought for a moment, "I don't want to be wrong when I say it because I was only young when it happened… So if I'm wrong- someone tell me."

The elder dwarves nodded the ones who could clearly remember.

"Well way back when Smaug had attacked Dale and Erebor and we were all fleeing the scene, the elves of Mirkwood had shown up. King Thranduil, I believe his name is, the elven king and his army had come. We had asked for their help, we practically shouted for it-" I paused looking at the dwarves, Balin and Thorin in particular, Balin nodded showing me I was telling it right, "and all they did was stare at us, till Thranduil had decided to not listen really and they went back into their own little Mirkwood lands, not offering help whatsoever…"

Bilbo stared for a moment. Ori listened intently and so did Fili and Kili- they wouldn't remember it really.

"But there had to be a reason why they didn't help…" Bilbo sounded like he wanted to defend the elves, but the glares some of the dwarves sent him stopped him short, and also it was like he couldn't exactly defend them too well in their case.

I shrugged, "You're probably right. I have the feeling he didn't want to get his race killed- which is a valid argument considering it was a dragon that they would be up against…"

"But that doesn't take away from the fact they did not help," Dwalin interrupted.

"True," I simply stated, "But the elves from Rivendell aren't as cold, they were nice to me when I had come… Actually, I thought I was supposed to be telling the adventures of mine…"

"That was quite interesting too," Bilbo smiled.

"I guess, I have a lot of time to tell you adventures of mine. Except, I doubt they'll really be interesting," I finished.

"You would be surprised. I'm a hobbit from the Shire- any adventurous story is amazement to me."

* * *

The rain had begun to pour. And I mean, it really began to pour… It could have been as worse as the rain back in the village… But it wasn't quite…

"Aye," I heard Dori say, sounding quite irritated as the rain went from his cloaks hood onto his face, "Can't you do anything to stop this deluge?!"

Gandalf sighed a bit, "It is raining master dwarf," Gandalf paused, "And it will continue to rain until the rain is done."

He sounded rather like a know it all at that moment.

"If you wished to change the weather of the world, I suggest you'd find another wizard," Gandalf simply stated.

"Are there any?" Bilbo decided to ask.

Gandalf looked confused, "What?"

"Other wizards… Are there any?"

"Well, there are five of us..." And so then Gandalf went on explaining the wizards, Saurman, the greatest of them, the two blue Wizards, who Gandalf claimed he had forgotten their names.

"And who is the fifth?" I let my back sulk a bit as Bilbo asked.

"Oh, well that would be… Radagast, Radagast the brown," he smiled from what I could see.

"Is he a great wizard…" Bilbo paused, like he was pondering if he should finish, "Or is he like… You?"

I felt a smile crack onto my face. I almost laughed, but I covered it over with a cough.

"Ye okay lass?" Dwalin asked from in front of me.

I coughed again, still covering it up, "Oh ya. Of course, sorry. Just swallowed the wrong way that's all."

"I think he's a very great wizard in his own ways, Bilbo," Gandalf said, brushing Bilbo's comment off, "He prefers the company of animals that is, compared to others."

I scoffed for a moment, though I agreed. Sometimes animals were better company than others.

•••••••

The rain hadn't stopped yet and it was nightfall, so Thorin made the decision that when we found dry land because of the trees, we would rest there for the night. Which we did do in the end, there was a little open area that was shaded by trees so the rain wasn't exactly getting on anything, except for a few drops of rain which you couldn't stop.

I helped Fili and Kili tie the ponies up, the two seemed to be really immature as they nudged each other from time to time and laughed about it. I rolled my eyes as I began to tie Thorin's pony, right after finishing mine.

Once we finished, I went to help Bofur and Bombur light the fire with the damp wood we had to work with, I picked out the driest pieces of them all and began to help make the fire. Soon we had one going and I hovered my hands over it. I hadn't realized how cold the rain really had been till I was near a heat source.

Leaning back, Bombur decided to start making stew with our supplies and stuff we had hunted along the way. I laid my bedroll out and sat on it, staring at the fire. I sighed as I could feel the little cracks in my walls starting at the top and just getting bigger the more I conversed with the dwarves. I wasn't supposed to let that happen. Maybe it was always like this, just I never talked to anyone long enough like I had these past 4 almost 5 days now, and if I had before it would've happened before.

I could only wonder what would really end up happening…

_**A/N: Sorry it's a late update really Sorry... Anywho, as you can see Alastrina kind of has two personality, one is her cover up cold one that she's had so long- and one is a warmer and sarcastic one with a humorous side- but that's not really showing too well with her because if you couldn't tell she lost that side of her along time ago, but spending time with the dwarves is making her kind of feel it again, and if you couldn't tell already she doesn't want that because it will break her walls down that she'd built up for so long and that kind of scares her…. Anyway I'm having trouble balancing the two personalities without making one over power the other, the cold is supposed to overpower the warmer one, but it's hard I hope I'm doing okay. Sorry if this chapters kind of short, I've been busy anyway love you guys thank you so much for reading 3 **_

_**ALSO… Bye xD**_


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